The 'Anti-Shower' Shower

This might sound weird, because obviously I really enjoy planning and throwing parties, but I tend to really dislike baby showers. It might be the games (can we all agree that baby showers have the worst games? Grown women having to sniff melted chocolate in a diaper to figure out what kind of candy bar it is?! Please...), it might be all the talk about the horrible things that happen to your body when pregnant and giving birth... I don't know; but I'm not a fan. So I have already decided that if I ever have kids, the only kind of shower I want is the what I call the anti-baby-shower baby shower.

Basically it is an open house rather than your traditional sit down shower. This can be used for bridal showers, as well, if you have a less traditional bride or one who doesn't like to be so much the center of attention in large groups, but prefers one on one contact.

The premise is this: rather than sitting people down and forcing them to play games and watch the mom-to-be (or bride-to-be) open every gift, you could instead set aside a time (a little longer than a normal shower) and allow guests to arrive and leave as they like. When a guest arrives, the mom/bride can open their gift then, in a more personal setting.

Print up cards with each guest's name on it before the shower, and once a gift is opened, set it out on a display table with that guest's name card next to it. This way guests who come later can see what other people have given.



This kind of format allows the mom/bride to mingle more with each guest as they come and go and give a more genuine 'thank you' as she opens each gift (I know at my own shower there were a few people who arrived a little late and left a little early that I never got to say hi to at all). It also spreads out the gift opening more, which makes it a little less overwhelming (and therefore the mom/bride can savor the process more). Anyone who has had a shower may know that it's almost too much to take in when you open 30 gifts in a row in a matter of 30-40 minutes.

You can still serve food at this event, but make sure it is something that will be good over the course of say... 4 hours. You can either have a variety of finger foods that can withstand this, or you could keep things refrigerated between guests. Be prepared that some guests may stay the entire time, so have something to nibble and sip on out at all times.

Don't forget to keep a log of what guests bring what gifts, like a normal shower, so the bride will have a list to go off of for thank you notes. The name cards are mainly for other people to see, but won't make the mom/bride remember what every single person got her, so make a list, as well.

I also have to mention that if you are planning a co-ed shower, I think this format is a particularly good way to go. If there are women who dislike baby shower games, imagine how the guys feel!

As always, refer to "General Party Planning Tips" also, and happy planning!

(Credit for first picture: Blue Shutter Studios, dress by Mercedes Hill)

Tea Party Shower

A tea party can make a very fitting theme for a bridal or baby shower, or even for a birthday party. They also can be relatively easy to throw, as the focus is on finger foods. If you want it to be a more genuine tea party, probably one of the most difficult parts is in finding enough tea cups for each guest (and I don't mean mugs, I mean tea cups). Luckily when I threw one for my friend a few years ago her and her mother had a large collection that we could use.




Don't worry about all the tea cups matching, in fact that's part of the fun. That is how it is traditionally done in English style tea houses anyway.

So, to begin with invitations, there are lots of choices out there now for tea themed invites. Just do a Google search and you will find plenty. Dori Ann's offers a large variety in particular.

If you want to opt for something more personal; however, it is pretty easy to make your own. I simply cut out a tea bag shape and printed on it "You are invited to a bridal shower", and attached it complete with a string and tag (even with a staple in it to make it more genuine). This is a good option if you are particular about the colors.




It is important to set the mood for the tea party by playing a little soft background music. Of course if you are opting for an English style tea party, go with classical. If it is more Asian, find some traditional Asian music.

As mentioned before, tea parties are an easy way to get away with just serving finger foods such as small tea sandwiches and scones. Don't forget that if you are hosting this party over a meal time, have PLENTY of finger foods. Enough that guests could eat at least a light meal's worth.




As for serving the actual tea, you can simply set a tea pot on each table either with tea already in it brewing, or opt to give guests more options, and set a tea pot of hot water on each table and walk around with a tray of individually wrapped tea bags in a variety of styles (make sure to offer a decaffeinated option).

It is also a good idea to offer a couple other types of beverage, because frankly, not everyone loves tea. Punch is a good traditional English party drink.



Dessert could be as simple as small tea cookies, or a little more elaborate like petit fours, chocolate dipped strawberries, or a more standard cake topped with a cute little tea cup.



Decorating can be simple, too. A small pot of tea roses for centerpieces would do just fine. If you opt for something more elaborate, topiaries are very English. I found wire "tea pots" at plumparty.com and made my own with that as the base. I recommend Plum Party for a tea party because they have some interesting supplies. Check under "themes" and then under "bridesmaid, brunch, tea".



There are lots of ideas for tea themed party favors, too. You can find some at the rosemarycompany.com, beau-coup.com, or theknot.com in their wedding shop section.

As always, refer to the "General Party Planning Tips" post for some basic guidelines. Enjoy, and happy planning!

Sex and the City Bachelorette Party

I threw a "Sex and the City" themed bachelorette party for one of my closest friends, because frankly, she is a Sex and the City fanatic. Luckily she had gotten me hooked also, so I had seen the series and had plenty of ideas to draw from. Below are a few you can use for inspiration:

Decorate with a New York state of mind. Party supply stores now have these relatively inexpensive wall murals in themes to convert the walls of any room into the feel you are looking to create. I used the one that actual is made for Spider Man (luckily that took place in New York, too) because it's basically just a city skyline. You can just tape or tack this to you walls.



Throw some pictures of the Show up on the walls (I found some online and printed them off), and don't forget the Absolute Hunk. That's just too appropriate to pass up.




Need an idea for a centerpiece? Head up to your local craft store and get one of those giant martini glasses, and fill it with either plastic diamonds, or water with floating candles (add a few drops of food coloring to make it look like a pinkish-red cosmo).




For a cheaper centerpiece just grab a vase and take a cue from the Ron Livingston episode (Berger) and fill it with pink carnations, then attach a note that says "I can't do this. I'm sorry, don't hate me".




Or if you have martini glasses at home, fill one with sand 3/4 full and put a tea light in it. Voila. Sexy centerpiece.





We started with a Scavenger Hunt (see "Ideas for Bachelorette Parties (beyond the strip club)" post for more info). All the clues were related to the show, and she collected her goodies in a "Manolo" bag (I simply bought a silver gift bag and attached sticker letters to it).





After going out to dinner, we came back to my place for a lingerie shower, and as a thank you to the guests, I made party favors that went with the theme for pretty cheap. Just get some disposable plastic martini glasses, fill them with M&M's in your choice of color, wrap some tulle around the top and secure with ribbon. (Note: a helpful hint on disposable martini glasses, or any kind that you have to attach the bottom to the glass stem; krazy glue is a good idea, because those bottoms never seem to want to stay on. You don't want your favors, or drinks to be loosing their bottoms, it just looks cheap).
A New York skyline cake also adds to the fun. Just get chocolate bars, break them in the sizes you want, and dab white or yellow frosting to create the "windows".




Also consider a drink menu that fits the party theme. I created this one on the computer (I also made up the drink recipes partly), printed it off, folded it and attached it to thicker colored cardstock.





A few other ideas for a Sex and the City party:

* For invitations, print up a flyer in Sex and the City Column format, complete with "if so-and-so was about to be married, I couldn't help but wonder... how fabulous her bachelorette party was going to be".

* Have guests dress as a character, or just dress in Sex and the City Style.

* Hire a cab to take you to the club (a New York City style yellow checked one if you can).

* Watch the bride's favorite episode.

* Serve all drinks in martini glasses, even if it's just water.

* Play background music that gives a New York lounge kind of feel, and don't forget to get the show's theme song on the playlist, too (available on itunes).

Ideas for Bachelorette Parties (beyond the strip club)

As I said for the guys, the strip club is fine if it fits the crowd for the party, but here are a few ideas to make the bachelorette party you throw more original or more meaningful.

* Scavenger hunt - this I have done twice for bachelorettes and they both seemed to love it. Along with the girls I threw the party with, we bought a variety of small items (whatever you can think of: a single condom, mini chocolate body frosting, a high heel shoe bottle opener [available at www.myweddingfavors.com] anything the would be somewhat related to a bachelorette party or the theme) and hide them throughout the house (or wherever you are hosting it) with clues to each item. For one party, it was a Sex and the City theme, so I gave the bride a bag that I had put sticker letters on to say "Manolo" for her to put the goodies she found in.

* Mani-pedi's - if the bride is a fan, take her to get a manicure, pedicure, or both. It can actually be a relatively affordable way to get the girls out.

* Day at the beach - if you are lucky enough to have one nearby, take the girls to the beach during the day (just make sure everyone has got their sunblock, you don't want burns or bad tan lines for the wedding).

* Wine tasting - pick a variety of wines, both sweet and dry, red and white, and get some nice cheese and cracker trays. This could be a classier twist on a night of drinking.

* Spa Party at home - many cities have spa party companies that will come to your home and offer many of the same services as a normal spa (including salt scrubs, massages, nails, facials, etc). This is a great way to start a slumber party bachelorette party.

* Slumber Party - If the bride would rather not go out, why not stay in and watch lots of movies? Get your favorite pj's, some popcorn, paint your nails and watch some chick flicks.

* Vegas baby - take a cue from the guys... if you can afford it, a weekend getaway to Vegas could be the way to go.

* Deep Thoughts - no, not from Jack Handley, but a great way to make a bachelorette party more meaningful is the get a stack of questions together, or just pick a two or three that everyone at the party has to answer. Some can be funny, but some could be meaningful, like "how has the bride been a great friend to you?" or "what qualities do you think will make her a great wife?". I have also done this twice for bachelorettes, and both seemed to find it very meaningful and special.

* Lingerie Shower - get the brides sizes and throw a more naughty version of her bridal shower. Tell guests to get her something either naughty or nice. Luckily, thongs can be pretty inexpensive, so it doesn't necessarily mean guests have to shell out a lot more cash. Add to the fun on this one by telling guests ahead of time that a prize will be given to the person who has the "sexiest gift wrapping". You can also write down (discretely) what the bride says in response to each gift she opens and read it back at the end as "this is what she will say on her wedding night". This tends to get a lot of laughs.

* Pub Crawl - hire a party bus or limo, and head out for a night of drinking or dancing, or both.

Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties

Bachelor and Bachelorette parties vary greatly in many ways... from the level of formality, to the number and type of guests, the activities, and of course, the level of raunchiness. The most important thing to remember is that this is a special night for the bride or groom, a final send off from single life, and those who host the party should be considerate of what the bride or groom would like or dislike.

If the they would be extremely embarrassed by a stripper, do not hire a stripper. Sounds pretty logical, yes, but some people have the misconception that the purpose of a bachelor or bachelorette party IS to embarrass the bride or groom. This should not be the goal. A little light humor is one thing, but this is an event that they will long look back on, so be courteous in that respect.

I love bachelor and bachelorette parties because, to me, they are a deeper event than just a deboucherous night of pub crawling. That may be involved, but for the ones I have thrown I felt an obligation to make at least slightly more meaningful. In a sense, it is a good-bye. Friendships can easily remain after people get married, but they shift. The shift is meant to happen, because something should shift when you make such a huge commitment and life change. So in a sense this event is like a rite of passage. More detailed ideas that I have used (and have been a success with guests) are in bachelor and bachelorette specific posts.

A few general ideas for both:

* Don't feel limited to just the evening for the event. If you have the budget and/or creativity, it can be an all day celebration, or even a weekend long getaway.

* Ask the guest of honor specifics about what they want and do not want, and respect those preferences. Be particular... Who exactly do they want to attend? Do they want their mom (bride) or dad (groom) there? Do they want everything to be a surprise? What have they envisioned for this night?

* Do not throw the party the night before the wedding, for obvious reasons.

* Refer to the "general party planning tips" post, also.

* Remember to have fun, and keep the event as low stress for the bride or groom as possible. This is already an extremely stressful time for them. Allow it to be an event where they can relax and have fun.