Ideas for Bachelorette Parties (beyond the strip club)

As I said for the guys, the strip club is fine if it fits the crowd for the party, but here are a few ideas to make the bachelorette party you throw more original or more meaningful.

* Scavenger hunt - this I have done twice for bachelorettes and they both seemed to love it. Along with the girls I threw the party with, we bought a variety of small items (whatever you can think of: a single condom, mini chocolate body frosting, a high heel shoe bottle opener [available at www.myweddingfavors.com] anything the would be somewhat related to a bachelorette party or the theme) and hide them throughout the house (or wherever you are hosting it) with clues to each item. For one party, it was a Sex and the City theme, so I gave the bride a bag that I had put sticker letters on to say "Manolo" for her to put the goodies she found in.

* Mani-pedi's - if the bride is a fan, take her to get a manicure, pedicure, or both. It can actually be a relatively affordable way to get the girls out.

* Day at the beach - if you are lucky enough to have one nearby, take the girls to the beach during the day (just make sure everyone has got their sunblock, you don't want burns or bad tan lines for the wedding).

* Wine tasting - pick a variety of wines, both sweet and dry, red and white, and get some nice cheese and cracker trays. This could be a classier twist on a night of drinking.

* Spa Party at home - many cities have spa party companies that will come to your home and offer many of the same services as a normal spa (including salt scrubs, massages, nails, facials, etc). This is a great way to start a slumber party bachelorette party.

* Slumber Party - If the bride would rather not go out, why not stay in and watch lots of movies? Get your favorite pj's, some popcorn, paint your nails and watch some chick flicks.

* Vegas baby - take a cue from the guys... if you can afford it, a weekend getaway to Vegas could be the way to go.

* Deep Thoughts - no, not from Jack Handley, but a great way to make a bachelorette party more meaningful is the get a stack of questions together, or just pick a two or three that everyone at the party has to answer. Some can be funny, but some could be meaningful, like "how has the bride been a great friend to you?" or "what qualities do you think will make her a great wife?". I have also done this twice for bachelorettes, and both seemed to find it very meaningful and special.

* Lingerie Shower - get the brides sizes and throw a more naughty version of her bridal shower. Tell guests to get her something either naughty or nice. Luckily, thongs can be pretty inexpensive, so it doesn't necessarily mean guests have to shell out a lot more cash. Add to the fun on this one by telling guests ahead of time that a prize will be given to the person who has the "sexiest gift wrapping". You can also write down (discretely) what the bride says in response to each gift she opens and read it back at the end as "this is what she will say on her wedding night". This tends to get a lot of laughs.

* Pub Crawl - hire a party bus or limo, and head out for a night of drinking or dancing, or both.

Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties

Bachelor and Bachelorette parties vary greatly in many ways... from the level of formality, to the number and type of guests, the activities, and of course, the level of raunchiness. The most important thing to remember is that this is a special night for the bride or groom, a final send off from single life, and those who host the party should be considerate of what the bride or groom would like or dislike.

If the they would be extremely embarrassed by a stripper, do not hire a stripper. Sounds pretty logical, yes, but some people have the misconception that the purpose of a bachelor or bachelorette party IS to embarrass the bride or groom. This should not be the goal. A little light humor is one thing, but this is an event that they will long look back on, so be courteous in that respect.

I love bachelor and bachelorette parties because, to me, they are a deeper event than just a deboucherous night of pub crawling. That may be involved, but for the ones I have thrown I felt an obligation to make at least slightly more meaningful. In a sense, it is a good-bye. Friendships can easily remain after people get married, but they shift. The shift is meant to happen, because something should shift when you make such a huge commitment and life change. So in a sense this event is like a rite of passage. More detailed ideas that I have used (and have been a success with guests) are in bachelor and bachelorette specific posts.

A few general ideas for both:

* Don't feel limited to just the evening for the event. If you have the budget and/or creativity, it can be an all day celebration, or even a weekend long getaway.

* Ask the guest of honor specifics about what they want and do not want, and respect those preferences. Be particular... Who exactly do they want to attend? Do they want their mom (bride) or dad (groom) there? Do they want everything to be a surprise? What have they envisioned for this night?

* Do not throw the party the night before the wedding, for obvious reasons.

* Refer to the "general party planning tips" post, also.

* Remember to have fun, and keep the event as low stress for the bride or groom as possible. This is already an extremely stressful time for them. Allow it to be an event where they can relax and have fun.

General Party Planning Tips

• Make two budgets, one you can afford, and one slightly less than that. Aim for the lower one, because you will almost always go over.

• Follow through. Do not say you will throw a party for someone (to that person, at least) if you do not fully intend to follow through with it. It could be a recipe for hard feelings if it does not come to fruition.
  

• Visualize the feel you want the party to have (classy, casual, theme, etc.). Picture the atmosphere as vivid as you can that you want to create. Also take into consideration the guest's personalities and/or the person you are throwing the party for.

• Match the invitations and the party in terms of formality. Don’t send super formal invitations for a casual party and vice versa.

• Don’t send out the invitations too late. Even for something like a casual birthday party, sometimes sending an invitation a month early is a good idea, particularly during busy seasons like summer vacations and around the holidays. People’s schedule’s can fill up quickly. Giving guests at least two weeks notice (and we mean AT LEAST) is courteous.

• Serve a meal if you pick a time for the party to happen over a normal meal-time, and not just a tiny bit of appetizers. If a shower is a noon, people will come expecting lunch. It can be done inexpensively, and does not have to be formal (even just a tray of sandwiches and some fruit will work sometimes), but do not leave guests hungry.
  

• Pick a style and stick with it. Some people do not like themes for parties, which is fine. If possible; however, at least try to pick a color or colors and be consistent with it. It gives a party a look of completeness and being polished.

• Throw a party for the right reasons. I mention this with wedding events like showers and engagement parties particularly in mind. Something weird happens to people around weddings (if you've been through one, or involved with one, you know what I'm talking about).
  

These are emotional events that involve the whole "leave and cleave" issue, not just with parents, but with friendships also. It may sound strange, but sometimes people offer to throw a party but purposely make it not-so-great, or go to the other extreme and try to show someone else up.

Likewise, if you are a bride, resist guilting someone into throwing you an engagement party/shower/bachelorette party because you think they owe you somehow, and try not to demand too much of people. Keep in mind that throwing a party can be very expensive, and know that just the event in and of itself is a gift.

Too often it seems subliminal issues play too big of a part in things like this. Some events are no-brainers and you just want to throw them because they seem well-deserved or just appropriate. Others may give you an odd feeling. If that's the case, sit down and give it some thought before you proceed.

• Get creative! Don’t use cookie-cutter formats for celebrations like showers and weddings just because you think you have to. Sometimes guests actually dislike traditional games at events like showers, so if you don’t love the idea of them, don’t use them.